Saturday, August 16, 2014

Customer Solutions vol. 10: Machine Mash-Up

Since I no longer wrench at a 21st, I don't have the pleasure of taking in the bikes of customers who decided to do the work themselves... without asking any questions of any kind and just went for it. While I respect enthusiasm and a can-do attitude, I encourage everyone to at least consult the internet before you break out the ol' tool box. Example: Customer Solutions vol.8
This dude couldn't get his front wheel back in after he removed it. Instead of asking for help he took the next logical step and filed the fork ends, in turn ruining his fork. I'm not complaining, I love this shit. It tickles me to see where some people's mind go. In this case it was totally the wrong direction, but it was humorous none the less.
Another great one was vol.3. This dude loves his kid just enough to make a trip to the hardware store and fashion him a seat so they can go on bonding bike rides together, but not enough to spend a little more money to ensure that his child would survive said ride. In fact, he brought his bike in for something completely different. Never even mentioned the seat.

They weren't all shit shows. Some customer solutions were thoughtful and well executed. As cool as those were I got more of a kick out of the "really dude?" ones. 

Customer Solution vol.10 falls somewhere in between. Even though I'm no longer at the shop I'm still going to call the series that because these people are still customers to someone, somewhere. Although this solution seemed clever and well executed, I was left with the question "why?"
This took some work. The creator of this gem had to cut off the mower's handle, the bike's fork ends, and then weld it together. They then painted it; not all of it, just half. Now, I could understand if they were trying be eco conscious by using a push mower and wanted to speed it up a bit, but this bike was nowhere near a lawn of any kind. Not even close. It was in a warehouse hanging out waiting for someone to jump on it thinking it was "neat" and then falling off of it into the precarious rotating blades. If your bike has rotating blades and you're not racing in some sort of modern day Circus Maximus, STOP. Get off the bike. You're going to die. If you happen to survive a fall from this Eco Death Machine, you're at least going to maim yourself and perhaps lose a digit or two. I don't want that to happen, not to you... so if you see this out there and think to yourself "neat", STOP. It's not worth it dude.

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